Stated in a Facebook group
“At the gym tonight, I was eves-dropping on a woman and her friend, who apparently just set up a match profile. They kept saying “OMG, this is SO exciting! I can’t wait to start dating!” The friend said, “That picture of you riding your bike makes you look SO intriguing!” One guy wrote her a message, asking her to go to OMSI with him, and naturally, they analyzed every aspect about him. The friend said “OMG, I love him! I think you should marry him!” Then they were working together to formulate the perfect message back to him. Aren’t they so adorable before they get jaded?”
I felt the need to reply, because, well, that’s what I do.
Okay, I was going to not say anything, but then, that’s like not being me and shit.
I think there is a lesson here, we have been hurt, bruised, scared, fuck stabbed and choked out.
Really though, imagine, if we could, look at relationships, and dating, with the freshness we had before the pain?
I mean the pain is often an integral part of learning, sure.
What if we could set it aside (the pain, not the learning)?
What if we could approach human connection with the eyes that have not yet been blackened but are still, in fact, able to be set afire?
I believe our pains, often prevent us not only from moving forward, but hold back our ability to drive passion into our lives again, my perspective is that of someone who held back the passion for many, many years, and then, found it again.
I found it, by letting go of my fear, accepting the risk, and opening up, did I get hurt?
Fuck yes I did, and it was painful burn, but that was not a fault or a mistake. And I would do it ten thousand times over again to feel it all over again, the passion the pain, the wonder, the warmth and the cold.
That was a moment of pure feeling.
That was a moment of pure humanity.
And I let it feel, and for it, I healed faster, and I still sure, have a little way to go, and I will be a tad more cautious next time, but I refuse to stuff away the passion that I found, but looking at connection, love, intimacy with the same eyes that I used before I let pain build up a wall, and close me off from the adventure of romance, desire, connection.
I guess, I read this post and was left with not despondency, but instead, hope, and a thoughtfulness that we COULD all be like that if we chose to. If we could stand up above our pain, and our jaded past. If we could leave that behind us and walk into romance, open hands, and willing to accept the risk and possibly reap the reward.